Festive Tomatoes

I am self-employed. Number of employees: One.

My husband, on the other hand, works for a company that employs almost 1,000 people. So, to make up for the fact that I do not host a Christmas party for myself, we decided to attend hubby's party at a large conference centre in nearby London, Ontario.

Tickets: $10 each (included buffet dinner and entry into draw for door prizes)
Drinks: $4.95/beer (can) or $5.95 for what amounted to a shooter of wine (2-3 oz.)

Thank heavens we were not there to tie one on, or it would have been an expensive evening! Not only was the wine expensive considering the type and location of function, but it was sub-par at best. I asked the bartender what type of wine it was and she had to consult the bottle. And even then, she couldn't tell me... Table wine - super!

Now, I realize that the food service was preparing a meal for about 1500 people, but man was it awful. Some highlights: overcooked roast beef, gravy from a can, simulated bacon bits, and tasteless grape tomatoes.

Talk about homogenization of food. Oh great, I've lost my appetite... again.

Dishes Are My Kryptonite

Convenience "food" is about more than just ease of preparation. After the meal, clean-up is easy too. Recycle what you can, place dishes in the dishwasher, and maybe wash a cookie sheet or two. I could handle that. It's the meal itself that would be unsatisfactory.

On the flip side, I have no problem with prepping ingredients for and preparing delicious meals using REAL ingredients, a bit of patience and time. I'm even quite good at maintaining a clean workspace as the meal is being prepared, clearing away tools as I finish with them, and putting foodstuffs back where they belong once I have used the required amount. Of course, enjoying a homemade meal is rarely a chore in our home either.

The headache begins when the meal is complete and the kids retreat to the family room leaving my husband and me to clean up. The prospect of dishes just about cripples me. I'd rather do twenty loads of laundry than one day's dishes!

It's not the dishwasher either - I'm happy to empty and fill, empty and fill again. The handwashing is the problem. Knives, pots and pans, wood cutting boards and other non-dishwasher-safe items that stare me in the face at the end of a meal practically bring me to my knees.

I've tried to understand the psychology behind it, to justify to myself and my perpetually frustrated husband why I can't bring myself to do the dishes. A couple theories/rationales:

1. We were forced as kids to do dishes immediately following supper each day, rendering the experience miserable - hence, it is still, to this day, a miserable task, or
2. I have eczema that flares up when my skin gets dried out - and we all know that nothing dries out your skin more than overexposure to hot water.

When it comes down to it, I don't think my situation is terribly unique. I've heard several notable cooks and chefs say that they love to cook but hate to clean up (of course, they can afford to hire someone else to do that for them). And honestly, I think those people who find cleaning therapeutic are a wee bit nuts. So I guess it is what it is. I love to do what I love and hate to do what I hate.

That's all well and good, but I still have a growing pile of dishes on my kitchen counter...

How to ruin a hamburger in 30 minutes flat

I love beef. Any cut can be scrumptious if cooked appropriately.

So, I'm at this local breakfast joint the other day, just putting in time. I'm craving a burger but was thinking I'd just do breakfast (when in Rome...). However, today was a red-letter day as the large, prominently displayed blackboard menu included a locally-sourced, 7 oz. 100% Black Angus beef burger. Can I get an "Amen"?!?

So I order the burger and grab a couple sections out of the Sunday paper and hunker down, salivating in anticipation. A lot of time passes and the server finally comes by and offers more coffee, offering a not-so-heartfelt apology as the burgers take a while to prepare. Fine, I say, I'm sure the wait will be worthwhile. Server agrees and disappears.

When my plate finally arrives, some 30 minutes after placing my order, I'm immediately a bit skeptical - the burger is charred and not at all juicy-looking. I take my first bite and confirm my suspicion that the burger has been over-cooked (aka ruined).

I understand there are minimum standards for cooking ground meat. But, when you source that meat locally, why not grind it on-site? That way, if I'm not mistaken, the internal temperature standards are lower, resulting in a juicier, much tastier product.

I was so disappointed. I will be addressing the issue with the restaurant but was not in the mood on that particular day (which is unlike me).

As a side note, I am always surprised when restaurants flaunt their local content but don't train their servers to speak about it with any degree of intelligence. This restaurant was an offender on that front as well.